Have you ever been in a season when you wish God would just shout out the directions so you knew which way to go? Which job to take? To buy or rent? To start a family? Soup or salad? There have been so many times when I've said, "I just don't understand, and I don't want to mess it up." I am sure I can find comfort in knowing that you've had similar experiences. I find myself constantly meditating on Proverbs 3:5-6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.
I appreciate God so much in that moment because he gives me permission to throw my feeble thinking right out the window. He reminds me that he knows I don't understand. On my own, I can't possibly make the right decisions every time considering my future. He's got this! However, I do have a role to play as I toss my understanding aside. I am to acknowledge God. I am to recognize that he has authority over my life and submit to His Will. I am then led to Romans 12:2. Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by changing the way you think. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's Will is, his good, pleasing and perfect will.
We have a word in my house for situations like this. PURSUE. When opportunity arises, we have learned simply to pray and pursue. When you think like that and trust God to open or close the opportunities laid before you, a new level of trust is built. When we acknowledge that God is in control, there is peace that fills the avoid of understanding. God's will for your life is good, pleasing and perfect! Notice it doesn't say easy! But we can trust that God's way is the best way and he will always point us toward His Will, all we need to do is pursue. (Side note, if what you are pursuing feels contradictory to the way everybody would do it, you're probably on the right track!)
I say all of this to say, when you pray and pursue, God will make your paths straight. You can't mess it up when you have a heart of obedience. God says, "be still and know that I am God." For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9) Take comfort in the promises of the Lord and pursue! He's got this!
Until the whole world hears,
Emily